Friday Fav - My Brother

Happy Friday!!! This week has been one of the better weeks I've had in a long time, and it's a feeling that can't be beat. My Friday Favs lately seem to be about people in my life who mean the most to me. When I set out to write these posts, I was on a mission to write about something I fell in love with or something I learned. I guess you could say I've got some amazing people in my life who I love dearly, and these people have taught me more lessons than they'll ever know.

This week, I've really thought about a lot since work has calmed down and life has found itself back on track. Thinking about everything that has gone on, I've really found comfort in the things I have gained from the biggest loss I've known.

The best and biggest thing I've gained is the relationship with my Brother, Chris! 

Chris and I have always been there for one another, called on one another, and made fun of one another like other brothers and sisters do, but we've never been as close as I wanted. With distance we've rarely spent our birthdays together, holidays have been tough to wrangle up, and calling one another just didn't seem to fit.

Since our Dad's passing our world has turned upside down, but we've both had a rock to lean on ... each other! 

I wouldn't change our relationship with one another for anything. Also, the fact that he can imitate our Dad's voice is pretty much essential right now! Talking to him about his upcoming day, the task he just accomplished, where he stands with his next home improvement project, his love for hiking, guy/relationship advice, and walking outside to look at the brightest star (our Dad) together is the best thing a sister could ever hope for. He recently told me, "Britt, it's my job to take care of you now, look after you, and be there just like Dad was!" Chris, these words will never leave my heart.

In a world that sometimes looks dark, just know there is always a glimmer of light shining down. I would love to share my brother with every daughter and sister out there, but after 26 years of working toward the relationship we have now, I think I'll keep him for myself! 

Today's Friday Fav is all about My Brother - The coolest kid on the block, the best brother in town, and the rock to everything we've been through ... together!

One Month

Today marks one month since I received the phone call that My Pops was no longer here. Today marks one month since I've been trying to figure out how to navigate this new path.

I've experienced death through the loss of a grandparent, a great-grandparent, 3 dogs and plenty of other critters, but I've never experienced death, or shocking loss, the way I have this month. Each day I find myself in disbelief and catch myself repeating a little reminder, "He's gone."

This reminder is the worst reality one can face. Talking to my brother through all of this, we've summed it up in one word - empty. Losing a parent is losing half of the life you once knew, and (secretly) never thought would ever happen. I thought before all of this, "That won't happen to me." Well one-month later, it did happen to me.

I've pepped myself up for a new month. October has been rough. November is going to be a new month, and it will definitely bring a new me. My Pops reminded me, wherever you go in life and whatever weighs you down, just spray a little Pam (the cooking spray) and let things slide off. Not sure how I'm getting through today, how I've gotten through the last month, and how I'll continue moving forward, but I'm taking it all one step at a time, and truly letting the other burdens in my life "slide right off!"

A little over one-month ago, I received an email from My Pops with an article talking about relationships. At the very end of the email, he wrote this (in his cute way of writing):

Sweets, You know no matter how Mature and Grown Up You are, You Will Always Be My Little Girl, I am SO Proud Of The Woman You are Becoming. With My Life and the Family around Me I am so Blessed,
Love You Sweets 

Wrapping up the toughest month of my life is not something you're ever prepared to face. Reminding myself that I had 26 years of memories with the most amazing, genuine and giving Pops feels pretty darn good.

Pops, no matter how many more months I'll be facing without you, you will always be my best friend and I am so proud you were my dad. I am the luckiest girl in the world :)
I love you, Pops.  

Life as of Late

This blog has always served as an outlet for me to write about life through an honest outpouring form of communication. It's been the crutch to my vents and favorite memories. It's been the best way for me to just say it.

Whatever it has been, this blog has been there for me. Lately, I just haven't felt like writing it down. It's hard taking one step forward while feeling like the state of your own mind is taking you ten steps back. It's always been hard to simply just say it. Say what I'm feeling, thinking, and wanting. It's also been tough facing today's truth while I'm still in denial over what's happened to my family and my dad.

But today, today I just need to write. I keep thinking if I come here and write, the tears won't be able to stop. But maybe, just maybe ... I need that. I've had good days and bad days. I've had moments of belly laughing love and moments of heart breaking sobs. I've let life in, and I've let it out.

While writing tonight, I'm thinking about how lucky I am. I've got a family unlike any other (and truthfully, they are unlike any other and simply the best). I've got love in my heart from my best friend and a guy who is always there to make me feel better (this is more than most have). I've got friends who have shown up and just been there (this is how you know who your friends are). I've got ears listening to me that I never knew were there. I've got the drive that tomorrow is going to be better, and life ... life is going to look up!

This past week I skipped my Friday Fav because Friday I just wasn't feelin' it. This past week I turned another year older and definitely another year stronger. This past week I didn't write, but I talked a lot ... and I talked to my dad.

I realize this new path ahead is never going to look the same, but it's life and I'm still here. I'm going to continue taking these steps forward, even when I feel as if I'm being pushed back, and I'm going to continue loving, laughing, crying, talking, and feeling it all.

My 27th Birthday wish was different than any wish I've ever made (I can be a repeat wisher). It's about life - being present today, but always looking forward to tomorrow.

And that my friends is .... is life as of late.